


Once Upon A Time

by Awesome_Sauce432



Series: Beaujester Week 2019 [5]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Beaujester Week 2019, Established Relationship, F/F, Fairytales/Stories, Just A Whole Bunch Of Cuteness And Gushing About How Cool Your Girlfriend Is, Mostly Appropriate Language For Speaking With A Bunch Of Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 01:56:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20018359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awesome_Sauce432/pseuds/Awesome_Sauce432
Summary: Jester needs something to do with a bunch of children to keep them calm while the rest of the Nein is off saving their parents from probable doom. So she decides to tell them a very romantic story that is definitely in no way shape or form related to her or her very cute girlfriend. Except it totally is.For Day 5 Of Beaujester Week: Fairytales/Stories





	Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time, in a city nestled next to the open sea with ships coming to and fro, there was a little girl. She had a mother who loved her very much and a best friend who taught her lots of pranks, and she was very very pretty and smart and good at drawing and basically the best.

She had to spend most of her time inside but she didn’t let it bother her. She painted the walls and she pulled pranks on anyone who got close enough, using all the tricks and magic her best friend taught her. She made her mother smile, and she was happy.

At least until a stupid lord got pissy and kicked her out of the city. Which was a real dick move.

* * *

Giggles filled the room. “Did you get revenge on him?”

“Oh, definitely.”

“How?”

“No! I wanna finish this story!”

Jester smiled, her eyes sparkling. “As super fun as that story is, I’m telling _this_ one. It’s very good.”

* * *

Meanwhile, in a whole other Empire, there was another little girl who lived in the mountains surrounded by vineyards. Her parents didn’t like her at all, and she didn’t like them back. There were rules and regulations and orders she had to follow and she hated them. So she snuck away from her lessons and dirtied up her dresses, and when she got older she decided to get back at her parents by stealing their own wine.

She was very smart and sneaky, so for a long time, she got away with it. But eventually, she got caught, and her parents decided to pay monks to take her away, so far away they’d never see her again and she would never be able to do what she liked.

But the girl didn’t like that all. The monks taught her to fight, and she got very good at it, but they were strict and had almost more rules than her parents did. So she ran away in the middle of the night, disappearing down a road to adventure and mystery and _romance_. But only that last one after a long time.

So they travelled until eventually, they wound up in the same town. They met up with people just as cool as they were, even if they were all kinda assholes at first. Well, Jester wasn’t, because Jester’s amazing and also the best. Everyone else pretended to be an asshole, but they weren’t. Really, they’re _all_ amazing and super cool and the best of friends even if they had a tendency to make really dumb decisions and the point is they’re _awesome_.

They called themselves the Mighty Nein which makes sense because if you add Molly and Kiri there’s nine of us. But then there’s also Cali and Shakäste and Keg and Sprinkle and Twiggy and Nugget and Frumpkin and a bunch of other people I guess and that one balgura that Fjord kept summoning and maybe there’s a lot more than nine but that isn’t what nein means anyway, its because Caleb says it all the time because it’s Zemnian.

Anyway. They called themselves the Mighty Nein. Because they’re super Mighty, and Nein means ‘no’ and they say ‘no’ to _evil_. Damn, that’s way better.

* * *

“I think you’re getting distracted Miss Jester.”

“Yeah, get back to the story!”

“Right, right.” Jester held up her hands placatingly. “I’ll just tell everyone about that later.”

* * *

The Mighty Nein went on more adventures than they could even keep track of. They fought gnolls, and bad guys, and lizards, and wizards, and dastardly pirate captains that wanted to unleash gods to destroy the world! And demons that wanted to unleash gods to destroy the world! That may not sound like a lot of world-destroying god unleashing, but that fact that it happened twice is pretty insane.

But the Mighty Nein fought very hard. When things got hard they didn’t give up, and they always won eventually because they’re the best. And Beau and Jester became best friends. They shared a room no matter where they went, and whenever something went wrong, they could always go back to each other. They fought side by side, both of them so strong in so many different ways. Jester could use all kinds of magic that no one had ever dreamed of before, weaving illusions and playing tricks wherever she went. And Beau could punch harder and faster than you could even see, her fists their own kind of magic, capable of punching bad guys and monsters and even ghosts.

They loved each other, first like they loved the rest of their friends, but then something more. But they were also afraid of ruining what they had, just in case the other didn’t feel the same way. Because what they already had was just as amazing, just as special, and they didn’t want to lose it. So they stayed quiet.

During the day they would walk side by side, sharing looks and dragging each other off whenever they saw something interesting. Whenever Beau got herself into a fight Jester would jump right in beside her, and when it was over she’d heal them both until they were good as new. At night they’d huddle close, braiding hair and talking about the day and falling asleep in each other's arms. Once they were asked if they were a couple and they just laughed, avoiding each other's eye and pretending they didn’t secretly wish they knew what that might be like.

Until one night, Jester felt like she wouldn’t be able to hold it in any longer. It was after a long day, a hard-fought battle where no one had gotten away unscathed. They’d won, but Jester couldn’t help but wonder what would happen if they lost the next one. She didn’t want to waste any more time, but she was still afraid of something going wrong.

So she waited until she thought Beau had fallen asleep, and she-

* * *

“Kissed her!” One of the little girls shrieked with delight, falling back on her bed with her legs kicking while other children gathered around cheered in agreement or groaned at the story being interrupted.

Jester just covered her mouth and giggled, letting the kids chatter away and bicker for a few moments before she started shushing them all. “No, I didn’t kiss her. Yet.”

The little girl that had interrupted sighed dreamily. “What did you do?”

“I confessed,” Jester smile, clearing her throat and making her voice go a bit higher, a bit funnier for the kids listening. “I said ‘oh _Beau_ , you are so pretty and strong and amazing and I love you so much but I can never tell you because I am too afraid~’” She held a hand up to her forehead, leaning back theatrically with her other hand over her heart, eliciting more giggles from the children.

She dropped her voice almost to a whisper. “But then, it turned out Beau had been awake the whole time! And she rolled over, and she asked me if I really meant it.” Jester paused, drawing out the dramatic tension.

The kids leaned closer, eyes wide as if they didn’t already know the conclusion to this story.

“And I said yes. And then Beau just looked at me, and she said ‘I feel the same way’. I mean, really she said it more like ‘oh me too’ but what I said is more romantic I think. Beau is very romantic but not really with words.” Jester said. “And _then_ we kissed. A lot. We kissed so much.”

She waggled her eyebrows, a few of the older kids stifling giggles behind their hands and some of the younger ones trying to copy the gesture, scrunching their faces together.

“Then what?” One boy asked, his arms folded in a typically boyish show of disinterest, even though he’d been listening the entire time.

“Well of course then we kept fighting monsters and stopping wars and helping people and not unleashing gods and we’re living happily ever after. The end.”

She did as much of a curtsey as she could manage while sitting on a small bed. Some of the kids began to pester her for another story, while others asked when their parents would get back. Since their parents were currently in the middle of being rescued by a cult (long story) and Jester’s job was to keep the kids from _not_ panicking about it, she happily sidestepped those questions and started calling out for suggestions.

But luckily for her, she didn’t have to worry about it, as one child suddenly announced a carriage had drawn up to the house, with ‘a big pink fuzzy man’ manning the reins.

“Oh! That’ll be your parents!” Jester said brightly, jumping off the bed and racing to the window along with the rest of the kids.

They watched the Mighty Nein slowly get off the cart, helping some civilians down and stretching their legs. None seemed injured beyond a few scratches and bruises.

“Which one's Beau? The tall lady or the blue one?” One girl asked, standing on the tips of her toes.

“The blue one. Isn’t she just the best?” Jester answered, leaning on the windowsill and watching with a fond smile as Beau jumped off the cart, stretching her arms above her head. She looked towards the house, seeing Jester in the window and waving, a lazy smile on her face.

“I wanna go outside!” One of the other kids asked, and so Jester opened the door, letting them all stream out to see their parents again.Jester followed them, bouncing up to her friends and asking them how it was before arriving at her girlfriend.

She threw her arms around Beau, correctly guessing that she would be expecting it by this point. “Welcome back! How was it?”

“Oh you know, typical cult. Only a couple even had magic.” Beau said, puffing out her chest a little. “We took care of them easy.”

“How impressive.” Jester stuck out her tongue, before reaching up and pecking Beau on the cheek, her grin only growing wider at the excited giggles from some of the kids that were watching, who all now felt they were part of some grand secret romance.

“What’s up with these kids?” Beau raised an eyebrow, looking at her suspiciously. “Is that house now completely tripped out with traps?”

“Noooo~” Jester carefully avoided Beau’s eyes, rocking back and forth on her toes. “I just told them the greatest story ever.”

Beau pursed her lips together. “Did you tell them how you confessed your love and I just went ’yeah same’?”

“It sounded way more romantic when you were half asleep.”

Beau squinted at her for a second before her face cracked into a smile, giving Jester a kiss to the forehead before separating. “One of these days _I_ get to tell that story and then I’ll make it way more impressive.”

Jester giggled, linking arms with her girlfriend as they followed the others into the house. “I’d like to see you try to tell a story better than me.”

**Author's Note:**

> you cannot tell me jester won't tell outlandish romantic stories about her and beau's ~love~
> 
> yes i very carefully timed the posting of this work so that it was the 10000th critical role fic  
> beaujester rights


End file.
